I dream of electric sheep

I am having one of those mornings, you know the ones that start with, what the hell am I doing with my life, kind of mornings. I used to have big dreams, big plans, too many in fact. The list was endless, everything from actor, singer/songwriter, astronaut, etc.. Who didn’t have those big dreams? I am in my mid 30’s now and while most, if not all of those dreams are gone, I still have a short list. I don’t think I am alone in this, it seems that most of my friends have either forgotten or just stopped talking about their list. When I mention I still want to write a book, or make an app for the iPad, they seem stunned. As if still having those thoughts was kind of childish.

I know I am a bigger geek than I lead on. I watch re-runs of Star Trek episodes almost daily. When I decide on the movie to watch it is certainly some sci-fi movie that I have to beg my wife to watch with me. To her credit she did enjoy the 2009 Star Trek movie, can not wait until 2013 when the sequel comes out! I follow a few blogs of people who actually go to Star Trek conventions and dress the part to! I am not sure I would, but I secretly want to. Hell I want to learn Klingon! If you don’t know what this, you’re not as nerdy as me. Anyway, I have stopped and started writing the same book so many times over the last ten years that I would need to start all over again when ever I want to pick it up. Maybe that’s what has happened, we got too tired to keep up with our dreams.

Maybe we just got focused on one; the car, the house, the wife or the kids. I have two girls, they’re the most incredible part of my life. I remember sitting for hours with my wife in the car, in her parents driveway. We would talk about having kids and hearing the pitter patter of little feet. At that time in our lives it had a romantic quality to it. To be fair it has lost some that, but it’s still the best. I would never say I have stopped dreaming because of my kids, but they have changed because of them. The dreams I have today are still the same, they are for them now. I was reminded of that this morning after my shower, my littlest one Isabella, came in and wanted to put the shaving cream on my face. She is 4 and still thinks that dad is the greatest man who ever lived. I guess my dream now is make sure that I can live up to hers now.

PS. I still want to write that book…

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